April 26th, 2006


Marriage on Biblical Principles

I found this in the article Election Year Republican Hatred on Watchblog, and I just thought it was funny.

The President's presidential prayer team has urged congress to “pray for the President as he seeks wisdom on how to legally codify the definition of marriage. Pray that it will be according to Biblical principles.”

The President wants a marriage amendment based on Biblical principles? I suspect those principles he is talking about are only the ones that apply to gays and lesbians.

Unless the amendment includes all marriage principles contained in the Bible, it is discriminatory, immoral, unethical, and hypocritical. An amendment that is according to “Biblical principles” would have to look something like this:

Amendment XXVIII

Section 1.
Marriage shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Genesis 29:17-28)

Section 2.
Marriage shall not impede the man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Samuel 5:13; II Chronicles 11:21)

Section 3.
A marriage shall be considered valid if and only if the bride was a virgin at the time of the marriage ceremony. If the wife was not a virgin, she must be put to death. (Deuteronomy 22:13)

Section 4.
Marriage of a believer and a nonbeliever is strictly forbidden. (Genesis 24:3)

Section 5.
If a married man dies and leaves no children, his brother must marry the widow. He must then impregnate her so that she might bring up children in the dead brother's name. (Genesis 38:6-10; Deuteronomy 25:5-10)

Section 6.
If a man is caught forcing a virgin woman to have intercourse with him, he may pay her father and she will be his wife. She shall have no say in this matter. (Deuteronomy 22:28-29)

Section 7.
A man my kidnap a female of his choice to be his wife. (Judges 21.20-23)

Section 8.
A father may give, by contest, his daughter to the winner to be his wife. (Josh 15.16-17)

Section 9.
If a man dislikes his new bride and her parent's cannot prove her virginity, she is to be stoned to death. (Dt 22.13-21)

Section 10.
A man may take his Aunt to be his wife. ( Exodus 6:20)

*Get your damn dirty religion out of my government*
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