July 21st, 2007

chibi

What will President Cheney do during his frst 100 minutes in office?

Apparently we're going to have a President Cheney for a couple of hours tomorrow, while Bush undergoes a colonoscopy. I thought the following list, from Townhall.com of all places, was somewhat amusing:

http://katiefavazza.townhall.com/g/fa36e4d3-d120-4acf-9cdd-7a2ac154bb93

While Bush undergoes a routine colonoscopy Saturday, he will transfer presidential powers to Dick Cheney. Here's a list of President Cheney's promises to the American people for his first 100 minutes.
 

Minute 1: Nuke Baghdad


Minute 15: Eliminate the Department of Homeland Security and replace it with Jack Bauer


Minute 36: Tea with Karl Rove


Minute 51: Nuke North Korea


Minute 65: By executive order, allot Wyoming 3 more senators… and a baseball team


Minute 73: Send Joe and Valerie Wilson to Guantanamo


Minute 81: Change into Darth Vadar costume and conspire with the Prince of Darkness


Minute 90: Actually pardon Scooter Libby, because the last president wasn’t cowboy enough to do it right the first time


Minute 93: “Respectfully but resolutely” assert importance of Halliburton


Minute 100: Hold press conference confirming the beliefs of Arianna Huffington and Kossacks nationwide that he is, in fact, evil