July 21st, 2007


What will President Cheney do during his frst 100 minutes in office?

Apparently we're going to have a President Cheney for a couple of hours tomorrow, while Bush undergoes a colonoscopy. I thought the following list, from Townhall.com of all places, was somewhat amusing:


While Bush undergoes a routine colonoscopy Saturday, he will transfer presidential powers to Dick Cheney. Here's a list of President Cheney's promises to the American people for his first 100 minutes.

Minute 1: Nuke Baghdad

Minute 15: Eliminate the Department of Homeland Security and replace it with Jack Bauer

Minute 36: Tea with Karl Rove

Minute 51: Nuke North Korea

Minute 65: By executive order, allot Wyoming 3 more senators… and a baseball team

Minute 73: Send Joe and Valerie Wilson to Guantanamo

Minute 81: Change into Darth Vadar costume and conspire with the Prince of Darkness

Minute 90: Actually pardon Scooter Libby, because the last president wasn’t cowboy enough to do it right the first time

Minute 93: “Respectfully but resolutely” assert importance of Halliburton

Minute 100: Hold press conference confirming the beliefs of Arianna Huffington and Kossacks nationwide that he is, in fact, evil