December 24th, 2012

Magical Wes Animated

The Anti-Norquist Pledge


In the spirit of equality, perhaps it’s time for liberals across the nation to have a rallying cry of their own. One we can all gather around and support until our dying days as being completely inviolable, utterly beyond reproach, and completely closed to any discussion or debate. With that in mind, and drawing heavy inspiration from Grover and His Gang, I present: The Addicting Info Citizens Protection Pledge, available just in time for the Holidays for all the Democratic Representatives and Senators across the land to sign!

I, [Insert Your Name], pledge to the Citizens of the state of [Your State Here], and to the American people, that I will:

ONE, oppose any and all efforts to decrease the payments made by Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, or any other public assistance program to any citizen of the United States;

TWO, oppose budget or financial plan based on the assumption that Social Security, in any way, contributes to the nation’s deficit, instead wearing a sandwich board demonstrating that Social Security is, in fact, one of the largest single owners of American public sector debt;

THREE, oppose any budget or fiscal plan that raises American defense spending by a single dime from its 2012 levels and;

FOUR, I will refer to Grover Norquist and those who have signed his pledge, at all times, as “Captain Dork and The Weenie Patrol.”

Signature ____________________ Date_______________
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Activist Judge Cancels Christmas

WASHINGTON, DC—In a sudden and unexpected blow to the Americans working to protect the holiday, liberal U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals Judge Stephen Reinhardt ruled the private celebration of Christmas unconstitutional Monday.

"In accordance with my activist agenda to secularize the nation, this court finds Christmas to be unlawful," Judge Reinhardt said. "The celebration of the birth of the philosopher Jesus—be it in the form of gift-giving, the singing of carols, fanciful decorations, or general good cheer and warm feelings amongst families—is in violation of the First Amendment principles upon which this great nation was founded.",1856/