richardthe23rd (pigshitpoet) wrote in politicartoons,

Russia. Come fuck us

Found on LJ Troll Scroll
Originally posted by topum at Russia. Come fuck us.

Just when I thought that we had had most of our fun for the week until the inauguration with half of the US calling their president-elect illegitimate, the president in his turn advocating for the death of the EU and possibly NATO as we know it, Angela telling the Donald to make better cars and the rest of us in the world wondering what the actual fuck was going on, comrade Putin decided that he wanted in on the action too, took the stage and delivered.

[Spoiler (click to open)]
Firstly, Vlad bragged that Russian hookers were the best in the world. Ok, he got my attention. I bet nobody in Russia will be asking him how would he know that even though apparently he is a bachelor now. Or not. Nobody actually knows, in Russia that would be TMI apparently.

Might not be a bad move for the tourism industry though. I wonder if the Russian state tourism agency will now seek to capitalise on the words of the dear leader and spice up Russia's tourism branding a bit. So if, say Malaysia is "Malaysia. Truly Asia.", could Russia now do "Russia. Come fuck us."? Or perhaps "Russia. Makes you come."? I am in either way.

Now Vlad also apparently said that all those reports about the Donald and those Russian hookers were clearly rubbish because "why would the man who owned Miss Universe and has been with some of the world's most beautiful women want to do it?".

OK Vlad, even thought I agree that those reports are probably rubbish, you still lost me a bit. Firstly, owning Miss Universe should not mean banging the contestants. I understand that it probably does in Russian oligarchs' circles and possibly even in Trump's mind (and possibly even in mine) but for the purpose of making official statements you might want to ensure that you do not sound as if that connection might be something certain and obvious to you.

Secondly, wow. Vlad must be a bachelor indeed and must have been going through quite a dry spell (even with all those wonderful Russian hookers around). Because this is not how it works unfortunately. Just because you have been with a beautiful woman, it doesn't mean that you will never want to bang hookers again. In fact you might well end up in, say Orchard Towers in Singapore (aka "Four Floors of Whores") banging two Ukrainian hookers the very next day. Unfortunately, this is how it works and it is a bitch let me tell you.

And thirdly, if those Russian hookers are as good as you insist they are, then why wouldn't anyone coming to Russia for the fist time be tempted to go for it?

A trip to Russia has moved up my list quite a bit now. Also, a big yes to this:

( ͡⊙ ͜ʖ ͡⊙)

Tags: russia
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