richardthe23rd (pigshitpoet) wrote in politicartoons,

The Fire Donald Trump Report – March 6, 2017

The Original Apprentice - You're Fired!

Fire Donald Trump Report

Alternative News

March 6, 2017 The Week That Was

Rep. Devin Nunes (R-CA), who led the House investigation until it became obvious even to Republicans that he was more interested in abetting Trump's abuses of power than examining anything Russia or Trump did, had to recuse himself. As did Attorney General Jeff Sessions. And Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-UT), whose sudden decision to retire from the House and his roost as chairman of the House Oversight Committee this term suggests that his imagined job of inventing Hillary Clinton scandals is nowhere near as much fun as concealing Donald Trump scandals.

Recuse me while I kiss this guy! Attorney General Jeff Sessions held a terse press conference where he announced he was recusing himself from the on-going investigations on Russiagate. The recusal came after evidence surfaced that Sessions had met with the Russian Ambassador during the campaign, yet told the Senate he did not. Sessions is expected to update his testimony to the Senate this week.

Tweets Away. The tweeter-in-chief blew a hole in the universe with his unsubstantiated claims that President Barack Obama wiretapped Trump Tower. Obama denied. White House Staff seemed confused. Experts called bullshit. Comey said the Justice Department should reject the claims. Of course, Republicans in Congress who have thus far been reluctant to investigate Trump-Russia connections despite a wealth of evidence were more than happy to jump on Trump’s unsubstantiated claim. (Because they had finished with their “Sid The Science Kid” investigation I guess). Most thought this marked the nadir of the Trump Presidency. So far.

The President pitches a fit – The Daily Mail (With video, WTF?) reports that the President was outraged that his Attorney General recused himself from ongoing Russiagate investigations and tore a strip off off Bannon, Preibus, Kushner and Ivanka (who was there to discuss the latest designs for her spring line). In a pique, POTUS flew to Florida as he does most weekends, leaving the others to find their own ride. No word on whether Bannon and the gang rented a van and road-tripped to meet up with POTUS there.

Where’s Rex? The press was starting to wonder if the Secretary of State Rex Tillerson fell off the edge of Betsy DeVos’s flat earth. Or maybe he is simply on the run from Putin’s goons.

Let’s Play Dress-Up – Five-time Vietnam-draft deferral recipient and veteran of the NYC syphilis scene, Donald Trump donned military garb and talked to sailors and military brass about his plan to dramatically increase the nation’s military budget. The irony of giving the speech aboard an $13-billion aircraft carrier that has taken 8 years to build and cost $2.5B more than planned was lost on the so-called President.

Blue Steel – Melania visited a NYC school this week and encouraged kids to become famous. Critics were quick to point out that she failed to mention the importance of being tall and really really really really ridiculously good-looking.

More to come:

Russiagate – Expect accusations to fly this week. Trump’s actions last week will leave investigators in Congress, in the Intelligence Community and in the Justice Department no alternative but to widen the investigation. Expect more revelations and more wild accusations. If you are a Russian diplomat or in the Russian intelligence community and know anything – for god’s sake run! Trump’s tweets should be hilarious and a little scary.

Death Panels: Congressional Republicans are planning to sink their teeth into the giant shit sandwich that is repealing Obamacare. The new plan is expected to be worse for poor people, worse for sick people, kids and families, but much less expensive for Mar-A-Lago members.
President Breitbart is expected to unveil the latest version of his Muslim Ban this week. No word if Pepe the Frog will attend the news conference. The new plan is aimed at actually being constitutional and is expected to exclude US legal residents as well as Iraqis. Muslim Ban Lite is described as 25% less discriminatory.

Is Preibus the next to fall? It has been so much fun watching the wheels come off the administration in record time. Flynn’s resignation was a delight. Puzder (‘member him?) bailing was a super-duper treat. It looked for a moment like Sessions would be next to feel the axe, but Politico reports that the knives are out for White House Chief of Staff Reince Preibus. Apparently some folks want to lay the blame for this clusterfuck at his feet. Shame on him for thinking he could tame the butterscotch stallion.

Two out of three Americans want such to see an independent investigation commission that seeks the facts about Russia's involvement in the Trump campaign, without the skew of partisanship. Conceivably, such a process could end in full absolution for Trump, but the public senses that something is amiss and is being hidden from them. And that alone is an indictment of the entire Republican Party.


Tags: politicians
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